The Last Long Distance Relationship: Correspondence June 28, 1987 (notes

With pen pals with whom we had a particular rapport, we often referred to the tapes we received as "marathons". That's because it was often one person talking alone for many hours. For T and me, it was not uncommon for there to be between three and six 90-minute tapes in one package, though he usually sent more than I did as he not only spoke more slowly and with more pauses, but he also was better at asides. I tended to stay more on my "script" or work from notes when I spoke.

The tapes were an attempt on our parts to carry on "conversations" with both distance and time separating us. Distance is something that still can't be solved in LDRs, but modern technology has allowed most people to overcome the issue of time with simultaneous or nearly immediate responses being possible via chat, Skype, or texting. For us, we were lucky if only five days had passed between the last word leaving our lips and the first word being heard by the recipient.

The way in which we attempted to conduct these ersatz conversations was to listen, take notes, and then use those notes to construct our answers. I usually wrote copious pages of notes, including not only what was said that I wanted to comment on, but often notes on what I wanted to say in reply. As I recorded my answers, I would often cross off items then throw away my pages of notes. None of my taping notes survive to this day, but one set of T's do. I still have these because, at one point, we each asked the other to send our notes so that we could get an idea of how we each carried out this particular task. I saved the 7 pages of notes that T took on a set of my tapes (pre-relationship).

It is important to know that tone and context are entirely absent when viewing these notes. Some things were said sarcastically, some as jokes, and some as hypothetical considerations. That's my way of saying not to take too much at what appears on these pages at face value. This is what was jotted down rapidly by someone listening to a young woman from Pennsylvania spout her nonsense for about three hours.

Note: While I usually transcribe written correspondence for clarity, I will not be doing so in this case since the nature of the notes is so erratic. Also, again, you can click on these pictures to load a size that should be readable and you can increase the size of the graphic using your browser's controls if it isn't big enough once the picture is loaded (control plus + on a PC or command plus + on a Mac).

Page 1 (of 7):