The date on this tape is an approximation based on the fact that T received it on March 9, 1987 and my best guess was that it took six days to reach the West coast from the East coast. You can see that the tape has been passed around a bit. The torn off parts of the factory label on the first side happened because each recipient would tear off the original labels at the top and replace them with their own. This tape was T's first tape to me that I recorded over after receiving it. If I could extract the old recording from it, I would love to have it. Unfortunately, that is not possible. However, I can know to a great extent what he talked about based on what I said as I repeated back many of his topics and commented on them.
Some context for the excerpts from this tape are that T and I connected via mutual pen pals (A & J). A, J, and I were all fans of the rock group KISS and all of my pen pals to date were also KISS fans. I sought out pen pals to talk about the band and T was the first person who I'd corresponded with who was not a KISS fan.
I'm posting this out of order. This is the tape that T replied to and pre-dated the tape that I offered a bit of in this post.
Transcript (select portions):
I can't say that this is the best time for me to be taping, because I'd really say it's the worst time, but, I have the time and privacy now so I'd better seize it. What you're gonna find out is that, for me, the big issue with taping now is getting the privacy to do it. I have this real hang-up about taping anywhere where anybody can hear me because my family is extremely nosy. (In) some families you (can) tape and they don't really pay much attention to you, but mine always think this is kind of bizarre, so I don't like to do it anywhere where I think they may hear me. So, right now, they're all gone. Wow! Usually, extraordinary circumstances have to occur before I can get the house to myself.
...
Like you — you said that you were very organized and very precise — I'm very organized. I'm not sure of how precise I am. It's not something that I ever pay attention to. I think I'm fairly precise also, and also like you, as J and A indicated, I'm very straightforward. Unlike you, I don't really try to taper that too much when I present it because I don't like to beat around the bush. I really dislike it because I think that you're not doing anybody a favor by dancing around the truth. In reality, if you're not being straightforward, that's what you're doing. You're not really "lying," but you're pushing what you really feel aside for a little while so you can save their feelings. When it comes to me, I don't want people trying to do me any favors. I would rather they were just forthright with me, and said, "Hey, I think this about you." And, just get it over with. Don't be mean or vicious. I'm not mean or vicious about it either, but a lot of people can't tolerate that. A lot of them perceive that as being cruel. They either learn to live with it or ultimately they dump you.
....
It's wonderful talking about yourself. It's rare for me to get to talk about myself so I just eat up any opportunity to do so. In my sort of... it isn't really a profession... in the kind of work that I get involved in, you do a lot of listening and very little talking because people mainly need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk into which is fine, but when your friendships become counselor/patient friendships, too.
.....
The (pen pal relationships) that exist at present are pretty old, strong sort of ties. They've been around for awhile. That's really rather good because we really are beyond the superficiality of being KISS fans. We can continue to tape for the rest of our lives. Maybe taping you will give me a good enough experience in dealing with that so that when the band breaks up, we'll all be fine. We'll all be able to carry on.
.....
About being a KISS fan, it's just another facet of me. It's just there and it's been there for so long that I think that I only hold onto it because of its familiarity. It's lost a lot of its initial excitement and value. It really has, but I'm sure J has explained this to you, too. She sort of feels the same way. We just all hold onto it, just like it's a little teddy bear that we keep with us and it makes us feel secure because it's an icon. It's just always been there. It's like you look out and there is a tree there and it has been there since you were born and it makes you feel safe and secure because it's always been there. It doesn't matter if it is human and important. It just matters that it is there.
*****
My tendency to be blunt muted as the years went by. One of my coworkers at the time that this tape was made told me that I had a lot of rough edges that needed to be filed off, but that he could see that I had a lot going for me. He was right. Filing off those rough edges took some pretty painful life experiences, however, but I did learn that "blunt" and "straightforward" aren't necessarily the same thing.
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